Tuesday, August 16, 2011

If I were still teaching

    Today would be my first day back to school after a summer off.  The teachers were back and started their hard work of prepping their classrooms.  This is the second year that I did not go back.  I am finding it weird that I am not going back.  I will have to say that I am happy that I am not going back.  I don't know what next year will bring I maybe back or I may not time will only tell.  But this year I am happy to be home with my boys.  This is the best job ever.

    I have been asked several times lately if I am going to go back to the classroom and I always respond with I am not sure.  I would like to say that I was a good teacher.  I seem to have people tell me that I was.  I ended up doing many different workshops where I taught my fellow teachers how to do different things in the classrooms.  But I would also like to think that I am a good teacher for the simple fact that I was honest and took a leave to raise my children.  I don't think that I can be a good teacher and a good mom.  I don't think that I can raise a family the way that I feel a family should be raised and be a teacher at the same time.  I believe in the fact that I know this and admit it makes me a good teacher. 

   As the start of a new school year has begun in the school around me it has gotten me thinking about what I am going to do with my teaching.  I don't think I want to go back.  I am thinking that when the letter comes next year and I have to check either to return or resign I will resign.  I just don't think I can be that mom who is also a great teacher.  To be a teacher takes so much time and time that is not in the work day.  Time from home and family life.  I also want to be able to be there when my kids get home from school as well as be able to be present in their schools and classrooms. I want the to know that if they are in trouble I will be there.  I just feel like I can not give the boys 100% and give teaching 100%.  One will fail and I know myself, I will not be happy with that.  So this year is my year to figure out what I am going to do.  I have my masters and I worked hard for it.  I would like to use it if I can.  I am thinking about maybe teaching a college class.   I don't think it will be the same as teaching children but I may surprise myself.  We will have to wait and see.

But for now I am going to focus on my job as a full time mom.  I am going to give it my 100%  We will see where it takes me.

I am doing it for these boys.

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