Today would be my first day back to school after a summer off. The teachers were back and started their hard work of prepping their classrooms. This is the second year that I did not go back. I am finding it weird that I am not going back. I will have to say that I am happy that I am not going back. I don't know what next year will bring I maybe back or I may not time will only tell. But this year I am happy to be home with my boys. This is the best job ever.
I have been asked several times lately if I am going to go back to the classroom and I always respond with I am not sure. I would like to say that I was a good teacher. I seem to have people tell me that I was. I ended up doing many different workshops where I taught my fellow teachers how to do different things in the classrooms. But I would also like to think that I am a good teacher for the simple fact that I was honest and took a leave to raise my children. I don't think that I can be a good teacher and a good mom. I don't think that I can raise a family the way that I feel a family should be raised and be a teacher at the same time. I believe in the fact that I know this and admit it makes me a good teacher.
As the start of a new school year has begun in the school around me it has gotten me thinking about what I am going to do with my teaching. I don't think I want to go back. I am thinking that when the letter comes next year and I have to check either to return or resign I will resign. I just don't think I can be that mom who is also a great teacher. To be a teacher takes so much time and time that is not in the work day. Time from home and family life. I also want to be able to be there when my kids get home from school as well as be able to be present in their schools and classrooms. I want the to know that if they are in trouble I will be there. I just feel like I can not give the boys 100% and give teaching 100%. One will fail and I know myself, I will not be happy with that. So this year is my year to figure out what I am going to do. I have my masters and I worked hard for it. I would like to use it if I can. I am thinking about maybe teaching a college class. I don't think it will be the same as teaching children but I may surprise myself. We will have to wait and see.
But for now I am going to focus on my job as a full time mom. I am going to give it my 100% We will see where it takes me.
I am doing it for these boys.